rant.

0
     so yes, like i've probably said in my previous post, next week is a killer week. 
    yes, killer and though i don't have 2 more modules than the other year 1s, the current modules i'm taking are the real killer... and no, it's not like i didn't take the 2 modules. i did. 

    MPATH and SPATH was so much easier and probably since i liked it, i actually didn't stress on it. :/ 

    anyhow, i wouldn't say that whatever extra time that i'm having now is a good thing. after all, i threw ONE bloody year away for nothing. waste of my time, perhaps? hmmm.. 

    and you know, sometimes, the part about failing GPO haunts me still cause it was such a waste of time and thanks to that, i'm wasting an additional year in poly. costs $$ and a complete waste of time cause i couldn't forward module. yes, it stresses me out cause NO, i'm NOT getting any younger and i really don't know how to see my future after i graduate outta here. it sucks and it's pressurizing. 

    either than that, what's stressing me out now is the real lack of time management and motivation to mug; mug consistently. if i did so like last term, i think i wouldn't be stressing out like crazy and will feel more confident about passing. now? i'm on the verge of giving up. 

    seriously, as time goes on, i feel like my ability of controlling stress drops and it gets worse. it used to be scratching my skin, bite my lips and self then pulling my hair then migraine then sinus headaches + migraine and now... there's rashes to invade my skin and i'll start crying for nothing. as if i don't cause enough self-damage to myself, my poor lacrimal glands have to work so hard. =.= 

    SERIOUSLY... BODY?! 

    i've given up on eating painkillers like it's free since last year... after all, i rather save my poor liver. kinda thankful i'm not a hardcore drinker cause i think i'll estimate my death to be before i even turn 45. 

    sigh. 

    i really would like to shoot myself down for not doing things consistently. oh well.. it's sort of too late and well, i can chiong whatever new and easy assignments and all but to study for the upcoming tests which requires a lot of memorization, i'm dead. wonder why i have such slow working brains? ): think i'm retarded somehow. oh well.. screwed up body. 

    in any case, i think all these have pushed me to just shut down. seriously worse than JLPT week last year and in year 1, sem 1. at least back in year 1, i had jason, aaron and the rest there for me to help me and thanks to them and that, i only failed GPO and miraculously pass the rest of the modules. 

    now?! 

    i've got no push factor nor motivation. 

    and it's scary to think that i may have only UM to go to after grad if i wanna continue studying... and over there... i can't even imagine the hell. i would rather just rot and die. =.= 

    OPTOMETRY, YOU'RE SUCH A KILLER. >:( 

    sigh. 

    ranting more seems to make me feel more depressed. 
    shall stop here then. 

    life story?

    0
      hello to all. lol.

      first off, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!! it's a benefit yet a pain in the ass for all.

      benefit cause everyone gets a long weekend to enjoy~

      a pain in the ass cause it's a dead town as most of the shops are closed and also, cause of this long weekend, MANY tests have been postponed. so yes, after 'enjoying' I guess many of us are gonna curse and swear.

      ok, maybe not everyone. but I will. :/

      anyhow, Pris said I should update more and write about my personal life story. haha. WHAT LIFE STORY?!

      I rant a hell lot on twitter. that's probably good enough to sum it up, no? haha.

      doubt I have much to update anyway, or rant. so I'm basically squeezing my brains to find things to blog.

      when I actually do, I don't have the time for it. hmmm...

      anyhow, I'll start with school. I've probably said this before, if not, I CAN'T FREAKING WAIT TO GRADUATE AND GET OUTTA HERE.

      it's tough and no, not everyone can understand how annoying opt is but hey, this is just my opinion but I envy people in other courses or people who can simply settle and do the things they want in life without having to rot away thanks to school. other courses seriously seems so much slacker and what not and it may be true looking at my other friends.

      and well... the NUMBER ONE thing that still annoys me the most about opt?

      THE FREAKING LONG TIMETABLE. 0800-1800. freak.

      NOT FUNNY OK?!

      and we're expected to make miracles out of nowhere sometimes. Tsk. so not
      looking forward to the next academic year cause it'll be reset back to the normal timetable.

      currently, yes. I do not have such a hectic one cause I'm freaking wasting ONE YEAR. thanks to flunking GPO. not worth it I must say.. but heck. I can't go back to the past.

      perhaps, I'll regret not changing course last year but oh well... I like my OPT kids very much. so that's probably the one thing keeping me going.

      silly, perhaps? but seriously, I find no other reason for myself to actually be here and do well... (not that my grades are awesomely good).

      perhaps one day in this line, I'll find the answer to that. as for now, meh..

      going backs to timetable. yes... I AM SO NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT. sigh.

      why
      o'
      why
      ?
      ?
      ?

      opt is such a pain in the ass. I hate studying so much. and I'm still trying to convince myself that I have to get my ass in uni no matter what.

      reasons for that is, I don't want to be stupid. yes, stupid. the world is changing and though yes, a dip in optom may be good enough but by the time I'm outta here, I highly doubt so. if not, they wouldn't bother building university of Manchester here specially for opt. (ok... maybe not build but heck.. you get the point).

      though I'm trying hard to study and get out of this loop of opt. I highly doubt I can looking at the way my GPA is.

      a pointer for kids who are entering poly, DO NOT FREAKING SCREW YOUR GPA. it's accumulated. not like in secondary school.

      so yes, I hope I can and if I can't, oh well... UM here I come (SUPER RELUCTANT and praying that I'll somehow manage to get outta this loop) .

      also, though I really wanna go overseas for U. I guess it'll take me a gazillion years to save up for that. lodging may be a saved for me but tuition fees... and allowance. super sian. still, I shall try. TRY. it's better than giving up like it's the end of the world.

      right.

      either than studies, super glad that bf still wants me even though I don't think I'm an easy person to be with sometimes... maybe most of the time. but hey, he's seen my true colors already. LOL. :/



      anyway, he's getting so much skinner thanks to NS (hating NS even more than ever...). miss his fleshy arms that can easily make me fall asleep the moment I rest my head on it. now... it's all bones. >:(

      mega dislike.

      and..... I've got a love-hate relationship with the idea of supper with him. I'll just spam... and eat like I've never eaten... and... I still fall for it every single time I tell myself "no" or "control".

      so, I've decided to not care anymore. I'm getting rounder (cause I can't be bothered to exercise) but heck. the more I control, the more I eat.

      so not more. I'll be a happy kid and eat whatever I want!

      <<can't seem to upload pics through the app.. shall try later then.>> 

      alrighty... I'm sleepy! shall update again tomorrow or something about reunion dinner and all? hmmm..

      HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR, once again peeps!

      random.

      0




        found these in bf's BB. taken during last year's F1.

        man... I miss my hair. ):
        mega regret cutting my hair. :<

        the butterfly effect.

        0

          finally.

          0
            it's been awhile since I last blogged. super busy and school ain't getting any nicer.

            last week was bf's block leave and it's been like super duper LONG since we had so much more time together. come to think of it, we hardly had much time even last year. :/

            so yes, last week was awesomely good~ met up for more than half the week for dinner or something. (Y) and its the reason why I've gained so much more weight than I want to. ):



            feast at IKEA. <3





            ramen. <3





            finally had a chance to come here for supper. mega like! heh..

            and lots more like shabu shabu buffet, usual eatings at coffee shop, random craving for BBQ chicken wings so we went to buy some, and more...

            insane.

            :$

            but still, love eating yummy food! :D
            super hard for me to lose any fats. I've given up. after all, before last week, for the past 3 weeks, island for supper. -.- epic fail.

            and so, there goes my attempt to lose fats before CNY. cause CNY = eat like crazy.

            oh well...

            -----

            either than eating, school stuffs are just so annoying. can't wait for holidays to come. FEBRUARY BABY, COME TO ME!!!!

            24th Feb, 11am, I'll be screaming like crazy. <3

            on the down side, march is coming. gonna hit 2x soon. sigh. I'm getting so old. ):

            can still remember for my 19th bf was so sweet with his surprise even though we argued the day before. :$

            ------



            finally dyed my hair. result isn't as dark as I expected it to be. sigh. oh well.. up next I'm definitely gonna dip dye ASH GREY after whining for the past 5 years. another epic fail. :/

            ------

            next week's gonna be a slightly slacker week since its CNY. but still, I'll be mugging away and all cause so many tests were postponed to the week after. so 2 weeks later, I'll be an angry girl or something. stress. sigh.

            so not looking forward to that. )':

            and another 2 weeks later, if I'm not wrong, EXAMS. and exams timetable has to piss me off with all my papers on the last 3 days. Tsk!

            on top of that, morning, afternoon, morning papers. rubbish! and the last paper is a killer :@

            stupid school.

            GAH!

            ------

            alrighty, I stop ranting for now. :/


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